oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
