fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
