I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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