? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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