You just made me feel so damn special
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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