I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize