"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
