have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
