I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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