3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
