The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
