well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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