Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
