So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
