none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
