i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
