Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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