everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i drank out of a bidet.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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