WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
