Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
