i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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