I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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