Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
