New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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