id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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