Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
