Sponge bath it is.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
