well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I intend to get homeless drunk
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
