Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I am spending my child support on dildos
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize