if i can run in heels then i can drive
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She even gives head with a lisp.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
