Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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