$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
be right there i have to get my cape
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
