We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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