Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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