Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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