I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just cut my nipple shaving
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
