So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
