You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
