Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
