Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
