Porn is love you can see.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
