So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
