I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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