lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
