Kareoke will never be a sober sport
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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