Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
