just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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