how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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