i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
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