I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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